I4L, Tips to Greatness: Navigating Life with Insightful Information (T2G Series)
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I4L, Tips to Greatness: Navigating Life with Insightful Information (T2G Series)
Part 5 of 12: When Strength is Just Noise
Step into a thought-provoking conversation about the narratives shaping modern masculinity in today's world. In this episode, we dissect the myths men tell themselves about strength and challenge the conventional wisdom that equates true masculinity with dominance or aggression. Through a critical lens, we examine the ongoing crisis of masculinity, where men feel torn between hyper-masculine ideals and the notion of disengagement from emotional connections.
As we navigate these complex discussions, we shine a light on the two main lies surrounding masculinity: the belief that strength is synonymous with control and the misguided notion that opting out of societal engagement signifies strength. Our dialogue encourages listeners to rethink their understanding of masculinity, reflecting on what it truly means to be strong. We highlight that genuine strength lies in emotional mastery and self-awareness, rather than external validation through aggression or dominance.
We also confront the societal expectations that create disconnection between genders, urging for deeper understanding and connection rather than blame and division. By acknowledging the emotional and biological differences between men and women, we illustrate how these differences can complement rather than compete with one another.
Join us as we unravel these complex themes, introspect on personal growth, and promote meaningful conversations about masculinity and relationships. This episode is not only for men seeking to redefine their understanding of strength, but also for anyone looking to foster greater empathy and connection across gender lines. Don’t miss out—tune in and engage with us on this essential topic! Share your thoughts and let’s keep the conversation going!
When strength is just noise, the lies men tell themselves about masculinity. Strength isn't about domination, it's not about avoidance. It's about knowing who you are, what you stand for and when to walk away or fight back the two extremes of modern masculinity. Masculinity is in a crisis, or so people keep saying, but if you ask what that means, you'll get a hundred different answers depending on who you're talking to. Some will say men are too weak these days, lacking discipline, drive or the ability to handle adversity. Others argue that men are too aggressive, clinging to outdated ideals of dominance, emotional suppression and control. And in between those two extremes you have millions and millions of men just trying to figure out who the hell they're supposed to be. The problem A lot of what gets passed off as strength isn't strength at all. It's just noise, empty posturing, reactionary defensiveness or a hollow rejection of responsibility. This isn't just a men's issue either. Women are watching, engaging and reacting to these shifts. Some embrace traditional roles, some reject them and some are caught in their own set of contradiction delusions, expecting men to be both emotionally available and unwaveringly strong, both financial providers and completely egalitarian partners. There's a disconnect between men and women that feels like it's only getting worse, especially in the USA, because we're talking at each other, not with each other, and, instead of building understanding, many men and women are falling into the trap of tribalism, blame and victimhood. So in this episode, we're breaking down why modern masculinity is broken and why the online version is an illusion. The two major lies men tell themselves about strength. Why men and women will never be exactly the same and why that's a really good thing. The real difference between understanding the opposite sex and just projecting your frustrations onto them. Understanding the opposite sex and just projecting your frustrations onto them. What true masculinity and femininity can look like in a world that's lost the plot. So let's get into it.
Speaker 1:One the two lies of modern masculinity. When you look at the online discourse around masculinity, you see two major narratives forming. Lie number one the hyper-masculine posturing. Real men are all warriors. Women should submit If you're not dominating, you're weak. And look, I get it. Speaking from a spiral dynamics perspective, I absolutely love tapping into the red side of me when necessary, yet I'm also extremely intentional about when I do, and I recognize what that is. Lie number two the passive opt-out Nothing matters, women are all the same. Just go MGTOW and check out and look, I get this too.
Speaker 1:It can be terrible out there, especially if you look at substance first and looks last and want someone or someones in your life just committed to growth, just that low bar right there, not being perfect, just committing to growth. If you become good at spotting the wrong ones, it can feel like all the good ones are taken. However, both of these are cowardly in their own way. Lie number one strength equals domination. Some men believe strength means being feared, being aggressive and never showing emotion. They think if they lift enough weight, make enough money and control enough people, they'll be real men. But real strength isn't about control. It's about mastery over yourself, not others. A strong man isn't just physically fit, he's disciplined. A strong man doesn't need to dominate women. He understands them. A strong man isn't emotionally numb. He feels deeply and controls his emotions instead of being controlled by them. And that goes for women too. Emotional regulation is hugely important.
Speaker 1:The loudest guys preaching strength online are quite often the weakest ones. Not physically, of course, but they rely on externals money, status, muscles, control instead of internals character, resilience, wisdom and, of course, they tend to attract the wrong kind of women. Sure, many of these women might be hot on the outside, yet they're hideous on the inside and round and round we go. Hideous on the inside and round and round we go. If your entire sense of self is built on power over others, what happens when you lose it, when you're out-earned, when a stronger man walks into the room, when your partner leaves, if your identity crumbles in those moments, then what you had wasn't strength, it was just an illusion. Lie number two opting out equals strength.
Speaker 1:On the flip side, some men, legitimately and terribly burned by bad experiences with women, relationships or society, decide to check out completely and permanently. They claim to have figured it out and say things like modern women aren't worth it, the system is against men. Just get your bag, go MGTOW and live alone. This is just another form of weakness. And look, I get it. It's tough out there. When you wake up and realize you've been fed a fairy tale your entire fucking life. That's really, really tough.
Speaker 1:Yet giving up on building connections, understanding people or leading a fulfilling life isn't strength. It's surrender. It's different from consciously choosing to live a certain way, for example, monk mode or prioritizing personal growth. Strength means making choices based on self-awareness and vision, not on bitterness and avoidance. Men who check out permanently aren't unplugging from the matrix. They're just choosing a different kind of dependency, one where their identity is shaped by what they're rejecting instead of what they're building. If you claim to be a man of discipline and purpose, then that means facing the world as it is and figuring out how to work within the system, no matter how flawed you think the system is not running from it.
Speaker 1:Two, why men as a group and women as a group will never be the same, and why that's a really good thing. One of the dumbest ideas floating around today is that men and women are exactly the same. We're not Biologically, neurologically, emotionally as groups. We're wired differently and of course there's outliers. Just because we're wired differently as a group doesn't mean that there are men that are very feminine or women that are very masculine. I personally love women that are masculine, but that's just me, because I resonate with that energy. That certainly doesn't mean that one is better than the other. It just means we complement each other. The reality check. Stop trying to make everything same.
Speaker 1:A lot of modern gender discourse tries to force sameness where it doesn't belong. But true equality isn't about erasing differences. It's about recognizing them and playing to their strengths. Women on average are more emotionally attuned and compete covertly. Men on average are more risk-taking and physically aggressive and compete overtly. Women on average tend to build social cohesion and focus on relationships. Men on average tend to compete more, at least visibly or overtly, and seek external achievement. These are general tendencies, not absolute rules, but they exist for a reason, and trying to flatten everything into some utopian idea of total sameness erases what makes men and women so valuable to each other.
Speaker 1:The ludicrousness of men and women are the same thinking. If you really truly believe men and women are identical, ask yourself why do women tend to select for taller, stronger and more dominant partners across cultures? Why do men tend to be drawn to youth, beauty and fertility across cultures? Why do male and female brains tend to process stress, risk and emotions differently? Denying biological realities only makes things more confusing.
Speaker 1:Instead of trying to make men more like women or women more like men, which clearly isn't working at all, the better approach is men should understand women, not just complain about them. Women should understand men, not just demand things from them, and both should respect what the other brings to a truly fulfilling life, not the table. We aren't knights in King Arthur's court. Consider this Thinking about a table is, in itself, kind of materialistic. Instead of fighting for some non-existent perfect balance where we all act the same, the real way to win is recognizing that we each have strengths and weaknesses, and that's why we need each other Three the real way to be strong in a world that's lost the plot. If you want real strength, here's what it actually looks like Master yourself before you try and lead others.
Speaker 1:If we can't control our emotions, our finances, our health or our impulses, we have no business calling ourselves strong, whether we're a man or a woman. Strength starts with discipline, and that includes knowing when to unleash aggression and when to keep it in check. Anger, aggression and even violence are tools. They're neither good nor bad on their own, but, like any tool, if you don't know how to wield them, they can cause more harm than good. A truly strong man isn't one who suppresses his aggression until it explodes. He's one who understands its purpose and can control it at will. You should be able to pull aggression out when it's absolutely necessary. You should also be able to put it away just as easily and, most importantly, you should never let it control you. Unchecked aggression isn't strength, it's weakness in disguise. If anger masters you instead of the other way around, you're not strong, you're just volatile. Real strength is the ability to access your power without being ruled by it. Build, don't just consume.
Speaker 1:If your life revolves around reacting to things news, women, men, politics, culture, wars instead of being proactive and figuring shit out, you're not leading, you're following. Strong people create. Weak people, complain with no real solutions. Own your choices. If you want to be traditional, be traditional. If you want to be modern, be modern, but be intentional about it. Don't let social pressure push you into an identity that isn't truly yours. Understand people, don't just argue with them, whether it's women, other men or people who you disagree with. Your ability to lead depends on your ability to listen. At the end of the day, being strong isn't about what society says, what women want, or what some influencer preaches. It's about who you choose to be and how you show up. So ask yourself are you strong or just making noise? Thank you.
