Part 1 of 12: The Glass Door Problem

In this episode, we unpack the insightful and transformative concept of the Glass Door Problem, a phenomenon that reflects how many of us get stuck in life due to perceived barriers that we often have the power to overcome. Many people feel trapped not by their circumstances but by their unwillingness to take different approaches when facing challenges. We explore the intriguing psychology behind this behavior, including learned helplessness and cognitive dissonance, and examine the ways they contribute to the illusion of being stuck.

By understanding how these psychological constructs work, listeners can recognize the barriers they impose on themselves and learn to navigate around them. Discover the importance of metacognition—thinking about your own thinking—as a vital tool for breaking free from habitual patterns of behavior that no longer serve you. We will share actionable steps to identify your glass doors and encourage a mindset shift that can lead to profound personal growth.

In the conversation, we emphasize that while it may seem like obstacles are insurmountable, they are often just misconceptions rooted in past experiences. We challenge you to embrace the idea that just because something didn’t work out before doesn’t mean you are incapable of change. Join us as we explore what it means to step left instead of charging into failure, encouraging you to think differently about your limitations. 

Together, let’s commit to peeling back the layers of self-imposed restrictions. If you've found yourself bumping into the same walls, it's time to assess your approach and potentially pivot in a new direction. Listen, and let's find a way to step beyond those invisible barriers!

Tap HERE for all Social Media, email, and Podcast platforms

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to the Glass Door Problem
• 29:59 Understanding Learned Helplessness
• 6:44:34 Steps to Break the Cycle

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:10

The Glass Door Problem, why People Stay Stuck and how to Step Left or Right. Most people aren't trapped by their circumstances. They're trapped by their refusal to take a step sideways. Introduction the illusion of being stuck. Ever watched someone walk straight into a glass door? They don't see it coming. They're convinced the path is clear. So when they smack face first into an invisible barrier, they react with confusion, frustration and maybe even anger. And then, more often than not, they do something completely irrational. They try again, over and over. They ram themselves into the same obstacle, getting more frustrated each time. Instead of adjusting, instead of stepping left or right, they blame the door. That's the glass door problem. In action and in life, people do this all the time. In relationships, in careers, in their belief systems. They hit the same roadblocks, but instead of adjusting their approach, they just keep hitting harder, convinced that effort alone will break the barrier. But here's the truth Most people aren't actually stuck, they're just refusing to move differently. Why people keep walking into the glass?

Speaker 1: 1:26

Learned helplessness, the psychological loop that traps you. Imagine a dog in a cage. At first, it tries to escape, it scratches, bites at the bars, pushes against the door, but if the cage has been locked long enough, it eventually stops trying, even if the door is later left open. It eventually stops trying, even if the door is later left open. The dog doesn't leave. It's been trained to believe escape is impossible. That's learned helplessness. And it doesn't just happen to dogs. People stay in debt and jobs because they believe this is just how work is. They stay in toxic relationships because they think love is supposed to be hard. They stay stuck in the same cycles because the effort to escape once failed, so they assume it always will. The moment you accept stuck as permanent, you've lost. The glass door isn't keeping you in your belief that it's solid is. But here's the thing Just because something didn't work before doesn't mean it won't work now. The door might be open, the path might be clear, but you'll never know if you don't actually try stepping left instead of just charging forward into the same failure.

Speaker 1: 2:39

Cognitive dissonance, the mental gymnastics of justifying stagnation. When people feel stuck, their brains hate the idea that they might be the reason why. So instead of facing it, they rationalize staying put. If I leave this relationship, I'll be alone, and alone is worse. If I quit this job, I might fail somewhere else. So better the devil, I know. If I admit I'm the problem, that means I wasted years being wrong. That mental discomfort, where your current reality doesn't align with what you want to believe is called cognitive dissonance. When your reality and your story clash and instead of fixing it, you polish the turd, and the easiest way to relieve it isn't to change but to double down. It's like hiring a lawyer to defend your dumpster fire life. Your honor, my client, smells fine. This is why people defend bad relationships, dead-end careers, self-sabotaging habits Because admitting the door is glass means admitting they could have stepped left all along. That's a hard pill to swallow, but it's the only way forward.

Speaker 1: 3:51

Metacognition the missing skill that separates those who move from those who stay stuck. Metacognition is basically thinking about your own thinking. It's the ability to step outside yourself and analyze your own patterns. Most people don't do this. Naturally, they live on autopilot, reacting to life instead of questioning their reactions. Here's how you know you're missing metacognition.

Speaker 1: 4:17

You repeat the same arguments in different relationships. You blame external forces for your every setback. Relationships you blame external forces for your every setback. You feel like things happen to you rather than because of you. It's like playing chess with yourself and still losing. Mate, check your moves.

Speaker 1: 4:35

Metacognition lets you see the glass door for what it is an illusion of limitation. It lets you recognize I've been here before. What did I do last time? What if I did something different? This is how you break the cycle, how to step left, recognizing when you're blaming the world instead of moving. So how do you actually start shifting? One identify your glass doors.

Speaker 1: 5:02

Ask yourself where in my life do I keep hitting the same wall? What problems do I keep running into again and again? What stories am I telling myself about why I can't move? Be brutally honest. If you've had the same complaint for years, you've found a glass door. Two question the reality of the door. The next step is to stop assuming the barrier is real.

Speaker 1: 5:30

Just because a relationship failed doesn't mean all relationships fail. Just because you failed at a goal once doesn't mean you will again. Just because society tells you something is true doesn't mean it applies to you. Maybe the door's not locked. Maybe you're just too busy headbutting it to turn the knob. Instead of asking why does this keep happening, try asking yourself what if I'm wrong about this? What would someone with a different mindset do here? What's a move I haven't tried yet? Three step left, even if it feels stupid.

Speaker 1: 6:10

The thing about glass doors is that they feel solid until you finally step around them. So pick one area in your life where you've been stuck and do something different. If you're always chasing unavailable people, walk away first. If you always react in anger, try silence. If you've always followed the safe career path, throw your energy into something risky for once. It doesn't have to be a huge leap, just a step left. Final takeaway You're not stuck, you're just refusing to move differently. Most of life's barriers are self-imposed. People stay in the wrong relationships, the wrong careers, the wrong habits because they've trained themselves to believe there's no other way. But there's always a step left, there's always an option that you haven't considered. And when you stop ramming into the glass and finally shift your approach, you'll realize something the barrier was never as solid as you thought. Closing thoughts If you've been running into the same wall for years, maybe the problem isn't the wall, maybe it's the way you're moving. So ask yourself where in your life do you need to stop charging forward and just step left? Thank you.