I4L, Tips to Greatness: Navigating Life with Insightful Information (T2G Series)

The Courage to Embrace Truth - Challenging Comfort for Personal Growth

• Daniel Boyd • Season 2 • Episode 65

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What if the search for truth is the ultimate test of courage? Join us in this thought-provoking episode as we challenge the conventional wisdom of comfort and security in the name of personal growth. The journey to truth isn't for the faint-hearted, and we explore how curiosity can ignite the spark of transformation in our lives. By examining the line between ignorance and willful rejection of evidence, we uncover the potential pitfalls of clinging to outdated beliefs, using the flat Earth debate as a vivid example.

In our mission to unravel misconceptions, we tackle the flat Earth theory head-on, dissecting the flawed "8 inches per mile squared" formula and contrasting it with the robust evidence supporting Earth's oblate spheroid shape. We dive into the complexities of communication, emphasizing how patience and cognitive flexibility can make or break the delivery of truth. Truth's steadfast nature demands respect, and we discuss strategies for sharing it without condescension while highlighting the importance of reshaping worldviews with grace.

Embracing truth is a pursuit of profound personal growth, not a quest for comfort. The path to enlightenment is often fraught with challenges that threaten our identity and social bonds, yet it offers unparalleled rewards. We share personal anecdotes of confronting harsh realities in health and relationships, illustrating how these revelations foster deeper connections and a more authentic self-understanding. As we question the truths we hold dear, we encourage you to face the fear of stepping into the unknown, embracing the messiness of growth, and ultimately, finding meaning in the transformative power of truth.

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Speaker 1:

Do you really want to know the truth? Truth demands courage, because sometimes it's not just uncomfortable, it's downright inconvenient. You know people talk about wanting to know the truth like it's this noble pursuit. I just want the truth, they say, like they're standing on some moral high ground. But the real question is do you really want to know the truth? Because here's the thing. They might not and honestly, that's okay.

Speaker 1:

It's human nature to protect ourselves from discomfort, and the truth can be downright uncomfortable. It doesn't just sit there nicely patting you on the back. No, the truth usually smacks you across the face and says now what are you going to do with me? That's where the cost of truth comes in. It's not just about gaining knowledge or being right. Seeking the truth, really seeking it is about growth. It's about tearing down walls you didn't even know you had. And let me tell you, that kind of growth takes guts. It means letting go of the safety net of what you think you know and stepping into the unknown.

Speaker 1:

Truth doesn't just demand answers, it demands you to change. So let's set the stage right now. Ask yourself do I really want to know the truth? Because if the answer is no, if you're not ready to go there, that's fine. It's better to be honest with yourself about it than pretend you're on a quest for something you're not willing to face. But if you do want to know, then here's where it starts, with one simple question when was the last time you went looking for information that made you uncomfortable, something that challenged what you believed to be true? Maybe it was a political opinion or a stance on religion, or even just a personal assumption you've always had, because if you can't remember a time when you did that, or, worse, if the idea makes you bristle, then it's time to dig a little deeper, not into the world, but into yourself. The cost of truth isn't just about finding out something new. It's about what you do with it. Once you know, are you willing to change, or are you just collecting facts to reinforce what you already believe?

Speaker 1:

Let's talk about curiosity for a second, because it's not just about asking questions or being inquisitive for the sake of it. True curiosity is the engine of an evolved mind. It's what pushes us forward, not just as individuals, but as a species. Without it, we'd still be sitting in caves staring at fire, thinking well, this is nice, but here's the thing about genuine curiosity it's not always comfortable. In fact, it almost never is. Real curiosity isn't just asking why is the sky blue? It's being open to asking am I wrong about the way I see the world? And let me tell you that's a tough question to sit with. It means being willing to step outside the bubble of your own beliefs and confront the possibility that you've been looking at things all wrong. That kind of openness isn't just rare, it's revolutionary. But here's the kicker A lack of curiosity is a huge red flag.

Speaker 1:

If someone, or maybe even you, shows no interest in questioning the status quo, that's a sign of resistance to growth. Think about it People who never question their political party, who cling to their religious beliefs without ever wondering why, or who refuse to challenge cultural norms, they're not protecting themselves, they're stagnating. It's not about what's right or wrong in these cases. It's about being unwilling to even ask the question. Now, before you go pointing fingers, let's turn the lens inward for a second. How do you know if you're falling into the same trap? Here's a good litmus test. Are there areas in your life where you've stopped asking questions because it's just easier not to? Maybe it's a belief you inherited from your family, a way you've always done things, or even just the way you see yourself. If you find yourself sticking to something simply because it's comfortable, that's a sign it's time to pause and ask why haven't I questioned this? And let me be clear. This isn't about throwing out everything you believe. It's about staying open to the possibility that some of it might need to evolve. Curiosity doesn't mean you have to change everything. It just means you're willing to try. It's the antidote to stagnation and the starting point for growth.

Speaker 1:

Let's clear up something right away there's a big difference between ignorance and stupidity, and understanding that difference matters, especially if you're someone who values truth. Ignorance is simply a lack of information. It's excusable. We're all ignorant about something hundreds of things, actually and there's nothing wrong with that. Nobody is born knowing everything and no one can know everything. Ign things, actually, and there's nothing wrong with that. Nobody is born knowing everything and no one can know everything. Ignorance just means there's an opportunity to learn, but stupidity, that's a whole different ballgame. Stupidity is when you have the information, when it's right there in front of you, and you choose to reject it. Worse, you don't just reject it, you dig your heels in and refuse to integrate it into your worldview, even when it's staring you in the face. That's not ignorance, that's willful resistance to truth and let me tell you, that's not a good look on anyone. We see examples of this everywhere. Take flat earthers, for instance. Now we're not talking about people in the 1400s who didn't have access to satellite images or modern physics. We're talking about people in 2024 who have all the evidence in the world photos, videos, experiments and still go. Nah, I think it's a conspiracy.

Speaker 1:

One of their favorite arguments is about the curvature of the earth. They love to cite the equation 8 inches per mile squared to claim the curvature doesn't match reality. But here's the problem that equation is wrong. It's a simplified, outdated calculation that doesn't accurately describe the geometry of a sphere, let alone Earth's actual curvature. The real math involves more complex trigonomic formulas, because the Earth isn't just a sphere. It's an oblate spheroid, meaning it's slightly flattened at the poles and bulging at the equator. And yet, despite having access to this corrected information, they refuse to update their argument. Let's lay it out clearly the difference between the flat Earth math the 8 inches per mile squared rule and the real math based on spherical geometry.

Speaker 1:

Flat earth math. Flat earthers often use this oversimplified formula to calculate the curvature. Height equals 8 times distance in miles squared. This assumes a parabolic shape rather than a sphere, which is incorrect. A parabolic shape is basically, to put it bluntly, a bell curve shape. If you think about a bell curve shape, that's a parabolic shape.

Speaker 1:

While it gives a very rough approximation over short distances, it breaks down significantly as the distance increases. So, for example, for 100 miles, height equals 8 times 100. Square equals 8 times 10,000, equals 80,000 inches. Convert that to feet 80,000 divided by 12 is 6,667 feet. So according to flat earth math, the earth's surface drops 6,667 feet over 100 miles. Real math. The real math uses spherical geometry. For any distance, the drop is calculated as height equals radius times the square root of, in parentheses, radius squared times, distance squared end parentheses. Where h equals the drop in feet, height, r equals Earth's radius, or 20.9 million feet, and d is the distance in feet. So for 100 miles there's 5,280 feet a mile. So D would equal 100 times 5,280 feet or 528,000 feet. So if we plug all that into the formula, height actually equals 730 feet.

Speaker 1:

Flat Earth math versus real math. For 100 miles, the flat Earth math comes up with 6,667 feet of drop. The real math comes up with 730 feet of drop, which is actually accurate. The flat earth math massively exaggerates the curvature over long distances because it doesn't account for the geometry of a sphere. It treats the earth like a parabola, which isn't accurate. Again, think of a bell curve. That's how it's treating the shape of the Earth. Why this matters?

Speaker 1:

Flat earthers will argue that the 8 inches per mile squared formula shows a curvature that doesn't match reality. Well, because of course it does. That's because their math is wrong from the start. They're using the wrong equation. They're comparing their flawed formula to what they observe rather than using the real equation that explains what we see. And not for nothing. The real equation is a little bit more complicated than the flat Earth equation.

Speaker 1:

There's a big hint for you. On top of that, their model has no predictive power, unlike the spherical Earth model, which predicts everything from eclipses to satellite orbits. But it's not just the bad math. Flat earthers also have no working models that predict anything. Science thrives on models, frameworks we can use to make predictions. Our spherical Earth model predicts everything from solar eclipses to tides, to the exact location of the International Space Station in orbit. Flat earthers, they got nothing. Their explanations can't predict, explain or even consistently describe the phenomena we observe. They rely on cherry-picking data or making vague claims that fall apart under any real scrutiny.

Speaker 1:

And here's where it gets really frustrating when people use your own arrogance whether it's real or just their perception of it as an excuse to dismiss the truth altogether. Oh, you think you're so much smarter than everyone else? Well, I'm not going to listen to someone who talks down to me and just like that the conversation ends. The truth gets thrown out, not because it's wrong, but because they decided you were the problem. It's infuriating, isn't it? You could be delivering the cure for cancer, but if someone feels talked down to, they'll walk away and say I don't trust that guy, he's too arrogant.

Speaker 1:

This is where the real balancing act comes in. On one hand, you can't help but feel frustrated when you're surrounded by what feels like an ocean of stupid. Wading through it can be exhausting. On the other hand, you have to find a way to stay grounded. If you let your frustration show too much, you risk becoming exactly what they think you are. And then what? They dismiss the truth, not because it's inconvenient, but because you confirmed their bias. And I'll say that again, Not because it's inconvenient, but because you confirmed their bias. You can apply that to a lot of things, huh. So what do you do? Maybe it's about picking your battles, Maybe it's about knowing when to walk away. Or maybe it's about finding the patience to say, okay, I'll try again tomorrow.

Speaker 1:

Because, as maddening as stupidity can be, the truth doesn't stop being the truth just because someone refuses to accept it or because they don't like the way you delivered it, and that's the beauty of it. The truth doesn't need their approval to exist, and I'll say that again the truth doesn't stop being the truth just because someone refuses to accept it or because they don't like the way you delivered it, and that's the beauty of it. The truth doesn't need their approval to exist. Let's talk about integrating truth into a worldview, because knowing the truth is only half the battle.

Speaker 1:

The real challenge lies in what you do with it once you do know. Are you open to letting that truth reshape your perspectives, or do you resist it, clinging to the comfort of what you already believe? This is where the concept of cognitive flexibility comes into play. Here's the first thing to acknowledge Just because one thing is true doesn't mean the other thing is false. And again I will say that again. Just because one thing is true doesn't mean the other thing is false. That's a simple idea. But that's also where a lot of people get stuck. They think that if they accept one truth, it automatically invalidates another.

Speaker 1:

But life is rarely that black and white. For example, I'm a logical, data-driven person. I believe in facts, because facts don't care about feelings. Science and evidence are the foundation for understanding the world, and I don't shy away from hard truths just because they're uncomfortable. But here's the thing I've also integrated tools like tarot into my life.

Speaker 1:

Now some people might hear that and think wait, how can someone who values science and data also use tarot? But that's the point. It's not about conflict, it's about coexistence. For me, tarot isn't about predicting the future or tapping into supernatural forces. It's a reflective tool. It helps me think about situations in new ways, uncover perspectives I may not have considered, and dig into my subconscious. It's less about magic and more about creating space for introspection. And you know what? That complements my science-based mindset rather than contradicting it. Science helps me understand the external world. Tools like tarot help me explore the external one. This is what cognitive flexibility looks like Understanding that multiple truths can hold value simultaneously. Just because I believe in the rigor of evidence doesn't mean I have to dismiss the intuitive or symbolic. Just because someone is capable of violence doesn't mean they're going to be violent or are violent. Both can exist in harmony and together they help me navigate life with more depth.

Speaker 1:

But here's the problem when you refuse to integrate new truths into your worldview, the consequences are severe. You stagnate, you alienate yourself from others who are growing and changing and, most importantly, you block your own path to personal evolution. Think about someone who refuses to update their beliefs about relationships. Maybe they still cling to outdated ideas about gender roles or how love should work, even when the evidence and their own experiences tell a different story. Or someone's stuck in a dead-end career because they refuse to acknowledge that the job market has changed and their old skills aren't enough anymore. They're choosing to stay stuck because adapting would mean admitting they were wrong.

Speaker 1:

When you resist integrating truth, you build walls instead of bridges. You limit your ability to connect with others, to grow and to see the world as it really is. But when you embrace truth, when you allow it to challenge and expand your worldview, you don't just grow, you evolve. You become someone who can hold complexity, who can sit with the tension of both? And instead of defaulting to either or, that's what it means to live with an evolved mind. So ask yourself when was the last time you integrated a new truth into your life, not just accepted it in theory, but let it shape how you see the world, how you treat others or how you move forward? If you can't think of an example, maybe it's time to start asking yourself why. Growth isn't comfortable, but staying stagnant that's the real risk. Seeking truth is one of the most rewarding things you can do. Risk Seeking truth is one of the most rewarding things you can do, but let's not sugarcoat it. It's not easy.

Speaker 1:

Truth has a way of shaking things up, not just internally, but socially too. Sometimes it feels less like a pursuit and more like a battle, both with others and yourself. Let's start with the social dynamics. One of the biggest reasons people resist truth is because it threatens their social standing or identity. Think about it how often do people cling to beliefs, not because they're right, but because letting go would mean losing their sense of belonging? Maybe it's their sexual identity, maybe it's their political party, their religious community or even their family traditions, their religious community or even their family traditions.

Speaker 1:

Accepting a new truth can feel like betrayal, not just of the belief but of the people tied to it. That fear of rejection runs deep. Here's where it gets tricky. When you're someone who values truth, navigating these social dynamics can be exhausting. You see the resistance in people around you, and it's frustrating because you know their refusal isn't about the truth itself. It's about what it represents to them. Recognizing this can help you approach these situations with more compassion, but it doesn't make them any less challenging. Sometimes the best thing you can do is decide whether it's worth engaging at all. Are you trying to have a conversation or are you walking into a fight where no one wins? And then there's the internal resistance, the stuff no one likes to talk about. It's one thing to challenge others, but what about when the truth challenges you? That's a whole different level of discomfort. Realizing you were wrong about something fundamental. That's a gut punch. It shakes your confidence, makes you question your judgment and forces you to confront the fact that maybe you've been living a lie, or at least a partial one. And I will share some examples with you.

Speaker 1:

In my own life, for me there were a few moments of reckoning. One of the most difficult truths I had to face was tied to my health, specifically the fear that I would develop Alzheimer's later in life. Based on my military experiences and what doctors told me at the time, I genuinely believed it was more than a possibility. It felt like a probability. I thought I was noticing early signs and I believed my grandfather had Alzheimer's, which seemed to confirm what I had been told, believed my grandfather had Alzheimer's, which seemed to confirm what I'd been told. Now, that knowledge didn't make me hesitant to form connections or pursue relationships, but it did feel like something I had a responsibility to share with any partner I could see a lifelong journey with. When I was with Donna, I shared this with her because I respected her and I valued the seriousness of our relationship. And after Donna passed, when I was with Tanya, I shared the same fear with her because I saw the potential for a long-term relationship with her too.

Speaker 1:

For me, it wasn't about pushing anyone away. It was about being transparent so they could make an informed decision about what the future might look like. If someone was going to commit to me, they deserve to know the road they might be walking. But, as it turns out, that fear wasn't grounded in reality. Later, mris and further investigation into my family history flipped everything. My grandfather's condition wasn't Alzheimer's at all. It was caused by a blockage in an artery that went undetected. And as I dug deeper into my family's medical history, I realized there was no evidence of Alzheimer's anywhere. That, coupled with later clean MRIs, confirmed that I didn't have to worry about it. It was like a massive weight had lifted off my shoulders.

Speaker 1:

At the same time, though, it forced me to look back and re-evaluate the conversations I've had and the choices I'd made while living under that assumption. Sharing that fear with Donna and Tanya came from a place of respect and honesty. It was the right thing to do, but realizing it wasn't true made me reflect on how much that belief had shaped my view of the future. And then there was the truths about relationships themselves. With Donna, her passing was final, she's gone, and there's nothing I can do about that. It's a truth I've had to accept because there's no other option.

Speaker 1:

But with Tanya, the struggle was different. She's still walking around out there, as far as I know, and that unresolved nature made it much harder to process. Her decisions about ending things weren't based on compatibility or any objective misalignment. They were based on assumptions and things that simply weren't true, demonstrably so. That made it particularly painful, because I had no control over how she interpreted reality. I believed I was operating from a place of strength and clarity at the time, but in hindsight I see that I was emotionally codependent in ways I didn't fully realize. I thought I was in love with who Tanya was, but really I was in love with the idea of who I wanted her to be, who she projected to be. Coming to terms with that wasn't just uncomfortable, it was brutal, especially since I've had to grapple with the fact that women like T Donna are extremely rare and women like who Tanya projected to be may simply not exist at all. And honestly, that's a pretty lonely road to walk. But that's also why I've booked tickets to the Philippines for three months To step away from the noise and reconnect with who I am outside the shadows of these relationships, to rebuild, recalibrate and maybe even rewrite what am outside the shadows of these relationships.

Speaker 1:

To rebuild, recalibrate and maybe even rewrite what I thought the future could look like. Facing that truth allowed me to heal and grow in ways I couldn't have if I'd kept lying to myself. It forced me to confront the hard fact that no amount of effort on my part could make someone do the inner work they weren't ready to do, of effort on my part could make someone do the inner work they weren't ready to do. This is the challenge of seeking truth. It doesn't just ask for answers, it demands transformation. And that's scary. But it's also where the magic happens. When you face the discomfort, when you navigate the resistance, both in others and yourself, you grow, you evolve and you come out stronger, more aligned and more equipped to handle whatever comes next.

Speaker 1:

So how do you actually seek truth in a way that doesn't leave you overwhelmed or stuck? Well, it starts with curiosity. Cultivating curiosity isn't just about asking questions. It's about being brave enough to ask the right questions, even and especially when the answers might challenge you. One of the best ways to start is by questioning something you think you know for sure. Pick a belief, a habit or an assumption you've carried for years. Maybe it's about relationships, politics, your career or even yourself. Then ask politics, your career or even yourself. Then ask what? If I'm wrong, what evidence would convince me to change my mind? It's not about abandoning everything you believe. It's about being open to the possibility that there's more to the story than you realized.

Speaker 1:

Another great tool for cultivating curiosity that I've personally found is engaging with material from opposing perspectives. This doesn't mean doom-scrolling through social media arguments. It means intentionally seeking out thoughtful, well-reasoned opinions that differ from your own. So, for example, my partner Rachel. She asked me how I could vote in a certain way when I watch John Oliver, bill Maher and other hosts and things that may have different viewpoints. Well, that's a perfect example, because I know the media lies to us. I'm not a fool. So I know that both sides cherry pick Well, I should say all sides, because there's more than two, I should say all sides cherry pick information to confirm their bias. More than two, I should say all sides cherry pick information to confirm their bias. So for me, I had to go back and actually find the actual clips of what people said and watch them in context. Right, watch the whole thing Really. Look at their body language, look at what they're saying, look at how they're saying it, listen to how they're saying it. That kind of stuff is what I'm talking about Challenging your beliefs.

Speaker 1:

Read books, listen to podcasts or, like I said, watch debates. And here's the trick. Approach it with the goal of understanding, not defending. Try to see the world through someone else's lens, even if you don't agree with their conclusions. From there, it's about developing cognitive flexibility, learning to hold two seemingly opposing ideas at the same time without immediately rejecting one. This is where both and thinking comes into play. For example, instead of seeing science and spirituality as mutually exclusive, explore how they can complement each other. Science can explain the mechanics of life, while spirituality can give it meaning. Both truths can coexist. Practicing this kind of thinking can help you find common ground in situations that might otherwise feel black and white.

Speaker 1:

And, as an aside, we all deal with something called cognitive dissonance. There are some people that deal with extremely high levels of cognitive dissonance. It's when you hold two conflicting beliefs in your head, your brain, in order to avoid the dissonance. It's when you hold two conflicting beliefs in your head, your brain, in order to avoid the dissonance. The uncomfortability will reject one of those beliefs. If you get to the point where you can look at two seemingly conflicting things and ask yourself how both of these might be true, or, let's say, parts of them might both be true, for example this is an example I like to use Climate change versus corporations and governments taking advantage of it. All right, climate change is real. We have the data. Now you can argue how much man is producing with it, but we do have the data that climate change is real and also governments and corporations are taking advantage of that and fleecing people for money. Both of those things are true, but I cannot tell you how many people I've run into that think that just because governments and corporations are taking advantage of it means climate change is false.

Speaker 1:

It's a really big psychological fallacy and it's a fairly easy one to get over once you start realizing and understanding and looking at the bigger pictures of things. If you want to develop this skill, try an exercise. The next time you face a situation that feels binary and either or scenario, pause and ask what's the both? And here, for instance, let's say you're struggling with a career decision. Instead of thinking should I follow my passion or stay practical, ask how can I balance both? This approach doesn't mean ignoring hard choices. In some cases, it can make your choices harder. It means expanding your perspective to see possibilities you might have missed.

Speaker 1:

Finally, you have to learn to embrace the discomfort that comes with seeking truth, because, let's be real, truth isn't always warm and fuzzy. Sometimes it's downright uncomfortable and it can challenge your sense of identity, safety or control. But that discomfort is where the growth happens. The key is learning how to stay grounded when it hits. One technique is to slow down and breathe through the discomfort. When a challenging truth starts to feel overwhelming, pause, take a deep breath in for four counts, hold it in for five counts and exhale for six counts. Repeat that a few times to calm your nervous system. Then ask yourself what is this discomfort trying to teach me? Instead of running from it, lean into it with curiosity.

Speaker 1:

Another tool is journaling. Write down the truth that's challenging you and all of the emotions it brings up. Be honest with yourself Angry, scared, embarrassed whatever comes up. Put it on the page. Sometimes, just seeing your thoughts in black and white can take the edge off the discomfort and help you process it. The goal isn't to eliminate discomfort. It's to build resilience in the face of it, Because the more you practice sitting with uncomfortable truths, the more you grow. You realize that truth doesn't break you. It transforms you, and that transformation is where the magic really happens.

Speaker 1:

So where does this leave you? Well, if you've made it this far. It means you're at least curious about what it means to truly seek the truth. But curiosity alone isn't enough. You have to take action. So here's my challenge to you Pick one belief. You've never questioned something, you've always just accepted as fact. It could be about yourself, your relationships, the world around you, whatever comes to mind.

Speaker 1:

Now, research it. And when you research, make sure you're looking for biases. Who's funding the research? Is it peer reviewed? All of that good stuff? Don't just go to Wikipedia. Wikipedia might be a good source to find sources and then go read the original research that was used to write that Wikipedia article. But you should never take Wikipedia at face value because, let's say it, pretty much anyone can get on there and edit whatever they want. So, yeah, there's a reason why colleges won't let you cite Wikipedia. Dig into that research with an open mind.

Speaker 1:

Ask yourself what if this isn't entirely true? What might I learn if I let myself explore it? And, while you're at it, ask yourself an even deeper question Do I really want to know the truth? Because, let's be honest, sometimes we don't. Sometimes the truth threatens to take away something we hold on to, something that feels safe. If you find yourself hesitating. Ask yourself what am I afraid of losing? Is it comfort, certainty, freedom, security, a sense of control? Whatever it is naming that fear is the first step towards understanding it and eventually letting it go. Here's the thing. The pursuit of truth isn't about winning debates or proving others wrong. It's not about being the smartest person in the room. It's about evolving, becoming a better, more aligned version of yourself. It's about growth, and growth is messy, it's uncomfortable, but it's also where life really starts to feel meaningful. So choose truth, choose growth, not because it's easy, but because it's worth it. And if you're willing to take that first step, you might be surprised by where the journey takes you. Thank you for tuning in.

People on this episode

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Daniel Boyd

Host
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Rachel Stidham

Co-host